I dont know why i was the one being accused of cheating when i would never EVER do such a thing then there you go behind my back with one of my sisters friends fuckin around! and now im the bad guy in this because you and her did something stupid. Im sorry im not going to be apart of this little battle im just opening up some eyes here. If she cant hold back then thats her fault. if you cant hold back thats your fault. i think her guys deserves a lot better then that. i know i do.

Its for the best

If i keep telling myself its for the beat ill believe it.

All i want to do is text him say im sorry ask for forgiveness but that would just be mean for me to do. He deserves better then me. Some one who will be there and be patient. I wish i could have been that peraon but im not. I still love you. I wish i could be there for you but i cant. Maybe oneday down the road we can see where we stamd together but right now all i can do is love you and hope we can both be happy.

...., Kayla

tis been a while since ive posted anythign and let me tell you. in the past couple months a lot of things have gone on.

Larissa and Leann are no longer in scholl with me and are now out on their externships.
Leann left back to Utah.
Larissa is working 2 jobs.
i visited my family and friends. losts of tears on my end that week.
i doubted wanting to stay here
got over that and decided to stay
have a babysitting gig for fridays now and a part time deal at a nursery!

Anyways,

<3 Kayla

Good Morning World

Okay,

This guy right here is the man of my dreams!

Just thought id let all yalls know.

 :)

As far as the rest of my day goes....

There was one exciting thing to happen. I woke up to Melinda freaking out over why the bathroom ceiling is leaking lol. It was leaking out of the fan, the light, the fire alarm in the hallway, my bedroom doorway, and finally the powerbox. Sounds safe right? I think not. We finally have the situation under control though which is wonderful. The maintenance man said that he is going to bring by a humidifier to dry the place out sometime tomorrow so its going to be really dry and hot. oh well just means i get to cut down on the power bill. :)

I guess im feeling a little better tonight as far as my attitude goes though i am getting on the more annoying side of things which Larissa, Leann, and Melinda......Im sorry :)

I want to start a flash mob and as far as im concerned its gunna happen and its going to be epic :)

Larissas Birthday is coming up and i am hell bent on making her 18th  birthday cake into a penis :) what can i say im a pervy baker. id say its the right balace of the 2 in 1 cake. Im a freakin genious :)I definately have not been sticking to my work out plan and its beginnign to show. i got me some healthy curves a growin on me and im almost okay with it :)

Anyways,

Be Happy,

Kayla <3

Let Those Eyes Sparkle and Shine, Never a tear, Baby of Mine..

I dont know how open to open is on these things but its my blog and ill write whats on my mind i guess.

I am going through family withdrawls. i need to be close to some familier faces. The song thast best suits my mood right now is 'Baby Mine' from the movie Dumbo. Awesome song.

I miss having someone to sleep next to. being held would be nice. even a big hug. Larissa gave me a hug the other day as she was leaving for work and i really needed it to be honest. my funk i always talk about never seems to disappear no matter how hard i try to will it away with a positive attitude and fake smiles.

Im still having a hard time getting a good nights sleep.

I keep taking my pills like my parents like me too. which i understand why they like me when im on them. i am definately a happier and more pleasent person to be aaround but yeah im not sure where i was going with that.
more or less im just rambling now.

 Night Night,

Be Happy,
Kayla <3

...

so im looking for a job. im trying to sleep. im trying to have a relationship. and im going to school. other then that nothing too exciting is going on on my end of things.

anyways,

Be Happy,
Kayla <3

good night moon

so its really early in the morning, i cant sleep and ive been having this problem for weeks. pretty soon i feel like im going to pass out from exhaustion. everybody thinks im lazy because i sleep until noon but its not until way lter in the morning until i can fall into a restful sleep. everybody is telling me its stress but idk it probably is. im just not sure what im stressed about.

James and i are back together which makes me a very happy girl but all the same something just doenst feel right. i want to talk to him about it but i havent been able to talk to him for more then 5 minutes without something coming up. oh well soon.

as for the new roomie. shes alright. she keeps touching my things so i can never find them  and her and her boyfriend bug me with them being in our room all the time.

i really miss my family. cody finally got his license, jackie got contacts, audrey moved out, and adam is saying words now! its amazing how much you miss when your gone. :(

i really wish i could get some good sleep.

anyways,

Be Happy,
Kayla <3