I dont know why i was the one being accused of cheating when i would never EVER do such a thing then there you go behind my back with one of my sisters friends fuckin around! and now im the bad guy in this because you and her did something stupid. Im sorry im not going to be apart of this little battle im just opening up some eyes here. If she cant hold back then thats her fault. if you cant hold back thats your fault. i think her guys deserves a lot better then that. i know i do.

Its for the best

If i keep telling myself its for the beat ill believe it.

All i want to do is text him say im sorry ask for forgiveness but that would just be mean for me to do. He deserves better then me. Some one who will be there and be patient. I wish i could have been that peraon but im not. I still love you. I wish i could be there for you but i cant. Maybe oneday down the road we can see where we stamd together but right now all i can do is love you and hope we can both be happy.

...., Kayla

tis been a while since ive posted anythign and let me tell you. in the past couple months a lot of things have gone on.

Larissa and Leann are no longer in scholl with me and are now out on their externships.
Leann left back to Utah.
Larissa is working 2 jobs.
i visited my family and friends. losts of tears on my end that week.
i doubted wanting to stay here
got over that and decided to stay
have a babysitting gig for fridays now and a part time deal at a nursery!

Anyways,

<3 Kayla

Good Morning World

Okay,

This guy right here is the man of my dreams!

Just thought id let all yalls know.

 :)

As far as the rest of my day goes....

There was one exciting thing to happen. I woke up to Melinda freaking out over why the bathroom ceiling is leaking lol. It was leaking out of the fan, the light, the fire alarm in the hallway, my bedroom doorway, and finally the powerbox. Sounds safe right? I think not. We finally have the situation under control though which is wonderful. The maintenance man said that he is going to bring by a humidifier to dry the place out sometime tomorrow so its going to be really dry and hot. oh well just means i get to cut down on the power bill. :)

I guess im feeling a little better tonight as far as my attitude goes though i am getting on the more annoying side of things which Larissa, Leann, and Melinda......Im sorry :)

I want to start a flash mob and as far as im concerned its gunna happen and its going to be epic :)

Larissas Birthday is coming up and i am hell bent on making her 18th  birthday cake into a penis :) what can i say im a pervy baker. id say its the right balace of the 2 in 1 cake. Im a freakin genious :)I definately have not been sticking to my work out plan and its beginnign to show. i got me some healthy curves a growin on me and im almost okay with it :)

Anyways,

Be Happy,

Kayla <3

Let Those Eyes Sparkle and Shine, Never a tear, Baby of Mine..

I dont know how open to open is on these things but its my blog and ill write whats on my mind i guess.

I am going through family withdrawls. i need to be close to some familier faces. The song thast best suits my mood right now is 'Baby Mine' from the movie Dumbo. Awesome song.

I miss having someone to sleep next to. being held would be nice. even a big hug. Larissa gave me a hug the other day as she was leaving for work and i really needed it to be honest. my funk i always talk about never seems to disappear no matter how hard i try to will it away with a positive attitude and fake smiles.

Im still having a hard time getting a good nights sleep.

I keep taking my pills like my parents like me too. which i understand why they like me when im on them. i am definately a happier and more pleasent person to be aaround but yeah im not sure where i was going with that.
more or less im just rambling now.

 Night Night,

Be Happy,
Kayla <3

...

so im looking for a job. im trying to sleep. im trying to have a relationship. and im going to school. other then that nothing too exciting is going on on my end of things.

anyways,

Be Happy,
Kayla <3

good night moon

so its really early in the morning, i cant sleep and ive been having this problem for weeks. pretty soon i feel like im going to pass out from exhaustion. everybody thinks im lazy because i sleep until noon but its not until way lter in the morning until i can fall into a restful sleep. everybody is telling me its stress but idk it probably is. im just not sure what im stressed about.

James and i are back together which makes me a very happy girl but all the same something just doenst feel right. i want to talk to him about it but i havent been able to talk to him for more then 5 minutes without something coming up. oh well soon.

as for the new roomie. shes alright. she keeps touching my things so i can never find them  and her and her boyfriend bug me with them being in our room all the time.

i really miss my family. cody finally got his license, jackie got contacts, audrey moved out, and adam is saying words now! its amazing how much you miss when your gone. :(

i really wish i could get some good sleep.

anyways,

Be Happy,
Kayla <3

Lets see where it leads.

okay so ive come to the conclusion that i really dislike making other feel important. why this is i have no idea. call me selfish or maybe even scared. i have no idea. any thoughts?

also neat freak moved in and i really think i dislike her. she talks about larissa, leann and i behind our back about how we are slobs. we straight up cleaned out apartment before she got here so she wouldn't freak out about it but apparently that wasn't good enough for her. she never talks to us like ever. if she has a problem with how we are let us know. its called compromise. her sleeping habits suck. she sleeps with a freakin box fan on all night, there is no heat in our room so i freeze my liitle butt off. pfff. last night bugged me the most because she had her boyfriend over.... i understand wanting to spend time together and what not but seriously its okay if you want to spend time in front of us instead of in my room until 1 in the freakin morning. gah! i dont think any one person has bugged me this much just by being them. with the exception of like 2 people.

enough about her....

school is just kind of going right now. im not really sure if i still want to be here or not but either way im gunna stick it out till the end because i came here without a lot of support from my dad which i understand where hes coming from but i want to show him how much im capable of and if that means doing this then i will. i knew from the get go that i wasnt quite ready to head back to school and that i wanted a break but when ultimatums are given i dont really have a choice. oh well life throws us curve balls and you have to take the ones you can hit :)

as for my love life, thats still up in the air. i feel like thing are headed inthe right direction again but somethings that go on just dont make sense to me. of course its all the little things that im probably reading way too much into. im sure all of you know those little relationship statuses that tell you whether your married or single right. well mine still says complicated. i didnt really get a choice in all of that so its a completely one sided decision that went on there. my point is with that is i tried to request it back to just saying relationship again since things seem to be getting better and what not but he wont except it. i havent talked to him about it yet but that was like a week ago. idk.

im not going to try and worry too much about any of this though. ive been in the mind set of n the dust set" just go with it and when the dust settles ill be able to understand" so far so good. :)

anyways,

Be Happy,
Kayla <3

Id slap you but i dont want to get slut on my hand :)

Dear Slut face,

I hate you. Please go die.

Sincerely,
The Better Option.

Now that thats off my chest.. hehe im super sore from myt work out bleh i hate being so out of shape.

I went on an adventure to find my buddy Richards place through public transportation. sucked big time. 17 minute walk to the bus stop then another half an hour of drive time. bleh i hate the public.

anyways,

Be Happy,
Kayla <3

New year! New Plans!

First things first, I hate my Chef. Shes a hater. one day i think she likes me the next day she thinks im some starving child and then the day after that she tells me i need to adjust my attitude. i just wanna know what i did to make her dislike me so much? any ideas?

Note to phone: Dear phone, I hate you for breaking but, I love you for giving me a break :) Love Kayla :)

Any ways me and Larissa are going to start a new work out deal. So far this is what we have at our nightly ritual:
20 Squats
30 Lunges
40 Toe touches
50 Sec. Wall sit
100 Jumping jacks        <-----------This is a cruel pyramid of doom.
50 Sec. Wall sit
40 Toe touches
30 Lunges
20 Squats

And as if that wasnt enough we are going to do this Fab Ab February Its the same thing everyday just the amount of each thing gets bigger. EX. Day 1-10 Sit ups 10 push ups 30 sec. Plank 15 sec. Left Plank and 15 sec. Right Plank. Day 2-15 Sit ups 15 Push ups...etc...

Also tons of stretching my goal is to be able to do this stretch :

It may look easy but i want you to try it for yourself and then think again haha.

I found a couple recipes i am going to try ASAP!

one is a healthy cake batter milkshake. sounds like its full of calories and that there is nothig healthy about it but i was shocked at how she made it. I got this recipe from Katies Blog :)

• 1 frozen, large banana, as ripe as possible
• 1/2 tsp pure vanilla extract
• 1-2 T melted coconut butter
• 1/2 to 2/3 cup milk 

The other is stuffed bacon pancakes!! Talk about delicious right!

Step 1: fry up some bacon
Step 2: Pour desired pancake mix over fried Bacon cook till done and walla!

Best meal of your life. As ive said before "either you like bacon, or your wrong. its the simple truth"

Next on my list of todos is to pinch more pennies! And this right here is exactly how i plan on doing this :) I got all of these little tips and tricks from Quirky Mama's Blog :)

General:

1. Make a goal chart and as you save the amount of money or pay off debts, mark them off and reward yourself.  (Ex:  we can’t get that camera until our car is paid off).  The expense of the camera is minor compared to the interest I’ll save by paying off debts early.
2. We do the “packets” budgeting system.  All spending money we take out at the beginning of each month.  We then pay for everything with that cash, when it is gone there is no more till the next month.  This budgeting method works for us, find one that works for you!
3. Wait for a minimum of 24 hours before purchasing any pricey item.  Oh, and see if you can find something comparable used first!
4. If something breaks try to fix it or do without before going out and purchasing a replacement.  Try not to hire someone to fix things, rather swap services (see craig’s list).
5. To curb impulse buys, create a 30-day list. When you want to buy something, other than a true necessity (medicine or food, for example), put it on this list, with the date you added it to the list. And make it a rule that you can’t buy anything for at least 30 days after you put it on the list. And stick to it. You’ll find that you buy a lot less with this system.
6. Surround yourself with “frugal-minded” folk.  If you don’t have any friends who are willing to make a frugal journey with you try looking online, Frugal Village is a great network, andOne Income Dollar and the Prudent Housewife are both great inspirational blogs.  We found it is easier to save when you are not surrounded by spend-happy folks.

Grocery:

7. Use a price sheet so that you can know if a “sale” is really a bargain or if you can find it cheaper elsewhere.
8. Buy meat that is on Manager Special (expiring that day or shortly after).  Cook that day and eat/freeze.
9. Mix ground beef with an egg and several handfuls of quick oats (makes the meat go farther).  Use in meatballs, meat loaf, etc.
10. Bake your own bread – let the yeast sit in sugar water till it smells fermented and use half the yeast (the most expensive ingredient in bread).
11. If you are big milk drinkers, buy whole milk and a box of dry milk and make your own mock-2% milk by mixing half whole, half non-fat dry reconstituted milk.  You have two gallons for a fraction of the cost.
12. Go meatless 1-2 nights a week.  You can substitute dry beans.  They are VERY cheap and filling.
13. Meal plan and coordinate so that leftovers can be utilized fully, yet keeping variety.  (Ex: Tacos day one, use left over taco meat day 2 for stuffed peppers)
14. Try to stretch as much time between shopping trips.  The fewer times you go shopping, the fewer chances you have to “impulse buy”.
15. ONLY shop from a list.  If it is not on the list DO NOT BUY IT.  It is best to make a check off inventory list of all things you could need and highlight what you’re out or low on.
16. Eat something small before you go.  It is harder to resist the temptation to over buy when you have an empty tummy.
17. Keep your change (dollar bills and coins) use this as your “fun fund”
18. Buy generic – many times this is considerably less than the alternative even if you have coupons.
19. Use coupons if you prefer something name brand and only if you buy that item regularly.  Also, ask if your grocery shop has “double days”.
20. Rather than buy a newspaper for the coupons, go to your library, usually they do not mind allowing you to clip the coupons you need… and your kids can attend story time at the same time!  OR you can go to this site for free grocery coupons and print the coupons you need online!

Household:

21. Wash your dishes by hand… I have a hard time with this one, I know it saves water/energy, but I love the convenience of my dishwasher!
22. Wash clothes in warm water and only if you have a full load to do.  Dry your clothes on the line and if you don’t like the “crunchy” feel, stick them in the dryer for 5 min with a wet rag after they’ve hung out.
23. Wash your clothes inside out so they will look nicer longer… and only wash if something is truly dirty.
24. If you like fabric softener, put some on a towel and throw it in with the dryer.  A quarter size “spill” on the towel can do about 3 loads – a great way to save softener!  Also, to make your detergent go farther, add a tablespoon of baking soda to the load and use half the detergent.  Baking soda is a soap booster and is cheaper than Arm&Hammer.
25. In the winter, use your dryer and stove during the early evening to help heat your home.  In the summer, use them in the very early morning (or not at all) to help keep your home cool.
26. Cook all your meals for a 2-week period (esp. in the summer) so that your oven only has to do the work one time for multiple meals.  Keep meals in the freezer and re-heat with the microwave – uses less energy, and you save time.  Also, having home-cooked freezer meals cut down on the tendency to order take-out when you’re having an exceptionally busy day.   It is possible to do this with a refrigerator’s freezer.
27. In the summer take a cold bath/wash rag to help you feel cool before bed, and keep the thermostat as high as possible or the A/C off if possible (we live in TX – its not possible).  Each degree change can save up to 3% on your energy costs!
28. In a room that has a tendency to be dark, put a mirror near the light to refract the light around the room.  One light bulb has the power of two with this trick!
29. Unplug items (toaster, shaver, cell phone charger, TV) when not in use.  Small amounts of electricity are still being used even if they are off, but plugged in.
30. Use Craig’s List to purchase used items (furniture, etc.) or freecycle or go to garage sales.  We’ve even gotten a number of items from the curb on trash day!
31. Buy paint from the “oops” counter at Home Depot or Lowes.  Also, if the color of your walls allows, add a faux finish over the existing color.  This uses a lot less paint and allows you to spruce up more rooms at a fraction of the cost.
32. Cut your cell-phone or house phone, you don’t need both.  If possible, become a single-phone family.  For long distance, calling cards are great!  You can usually find cards with under 2 cents a min!  Pay-as-you-go cell phone plans are great if you are not a big phone user.
33. Make your own household cleaners.  Vinegar, baking soda, Hydrogen peroxide, borax & bleach are all really cheap and you can make any and every household cleaner from laundry detergent to the equivalents of Windex and Comet from mixtures of those ingredients.
34. Check your insurance.  We were able to save $600 a year when we switched companies, combined our house and auto onto the same plan, and added $500 to our deductible.
35. Get a programmable thermostat for your household heat and water heater.  You can turn the temps down an hour or two after you go to bed, or during the warmer times of the day, or the times when you typically don’t use your hot water.  No reason to heat what is not being used!

Personal:

36. Get a buzzer and cut your hubby’s hair… if possible, have a friend cut your’s… Also, longer hairstyles do not need to be maintained as frequently as shorter ones.
37. Buy clothes for your kids used – they grow out of them so fast new is not worth it!  And used usually look just as good!
38. Limit the number of toys your children are able to have in the house.  This will lower the clutter, increase the value of the toys you currently own, increase your children’s creativity as they learn to play with less, and also will decrease spending on toys.
39. Try home remedies before Doctor visits.  Those co-pays can add up and its amazing how a humidifier, Vitamin C & some good ole’ rest will make the bugs go away!
40. Make gifts for holidays and birthdays, often these mean more than ones purchased at the store as they show you put time and effort into the recipient.
41. Make your own personal hygiene products (or do without).  Kimberly has a great blog documenting her withdrawl from her addiction to shampooing.
42. Cloth diaper your kiddos.  If you use this cloth diapering method your whole stash can cost less than a hundred dollars and can potentially be handed down to future kiddos.  Cloth diapering also encourages early potty-training!
43. Make your own baby food by pureeing what the rest of the family is eating, or you can use dehydrated and powdered veggies – if you like the convenience of those pricey jars.

Entertainment:

44. Eat out rarely if ever!  If you do eat out, only drink water.  Also, check your newspapers for discounts and grand openings; you can usually get more for your buck then.
45. Invite people over to your home rather than meeting them at a restaurant.  You’ll have more time to chat and if you plan your meal well, will save a bundle too!
46. Get movies for your Friday night from the library rather than Blockbuster or netflix.  They are usually free!  Also check out Hulu.  They have a number of TV shows online for free!
47. Either eliminate or see if you can combine any of the following: Internet, Television, Long-Distance, Cell Phones – We found that a calling card saves us tons on what would have been a long distance phone bill, and we get the TV shows we want through online streaming for free.
48. Set-up a baby-sitting swap with a friend who has children.  You’ll save money and know that someone “experienced” is watching your kids.
49. Find dates that are more events than just “going out to eat”.  These can sometimes save your budget and are usually more memorable.
50. See if you are near a Bass Pro shop or Cabella’s.  We take our kids there instead of the zoo.  It’s free to walk around and the stuffed animals don’t move so you actually get to see them!  Call ahead of time and be there for the fish feeding.

I am for definitlys going to experiment and make my own laundry detergent!!!

Anyways,

Be Happy, 

Kayla <3 

As of this very moment.... I am sitting at my buddy Richards casa watching some family guy! Just saying.. Love this guy he is awesome :)

The roomies and i got a new roomate today and im not sure if i like her or not yet.

jgifdso; fj

other then that...

Be Happy,
Kayla <3

So much more room for activities!!

well Leanns guy friend thingy Brandan has been staying with us over the weekend..... none of us like him and wish he would leave already. sorry buddy but your attitude has not been the most appealing. ps.. we know you dont like us. :) why i have no idea.

Leann also got me addicted to pintrest so we have been craft crazy today lol
things we made..

~ A bored jar- we found a random jar and put a bunch of little activities in it such as going for a walk or making food. everytime somebody says they are bored they go pick something out of the jar to do. wala! no more boredom! awesome right!

~ Clothes pin Picture hangings - one of the cutest ways to hang pictures without ruining them!! so adorable :)

Also we re arranged the living room a few days ago. i really needed this place to have a different feel to it and i really like what we have done to it. our little apartment now feels like a little home to me :)

I really miss my family so i think im going to call them sometime tomorrow and make sure they have a good day. :)

Oh! Happy note!! larissa and i are hopefully going to get an apartment together in a few months! and not to mention i willl hopefully find out whether or not i get that job tomorrow too!!!

Be Happy,
Kayla <3

Keep the smiles a comin" :D

Oh snow how i hate thee coldness. lol anyways today started off in kind of a funk but has progressivly gotten better thankfully :)

So eventually im going to post a picture of one of the chefs here. he looks exactly like my english teacher Mr. Smith lol its so crazy. i would actually take this one seriously though he always seems to be on some sort of mission. oh how fun it is to people watch haha. :)

I'm about to head and get ready to start my class for the day. we are making meringue cookie things today :) I am sure they are going to be extreamly delicious. not looking forward to the dishes though oh well.

OH and Larissa!!!! I hope your tummy feels better :) Love you girly!

Leann we need to hang out sometime lol.

Be Happy :),
Kayla <3

Don't worry, be happy :)

Okay so, I haven't exactly posted anything in a while so here goes.

Since I've been back to my Portland home a few things have happened:

1)I had a job interview at my school to be the receptionist :) I really hope I get it. I wont find out for another week! gah! The suspense is killing me!

2)I've been in a limbo about my darned love life. Super curious as to where that's going to take me.

3) I met some new super nice people. Cosmo, Bacon, and Alexis :) All some new super awesome buddies.

4) Portland is slowly taking me over and I must say i kind of like it. Now only if my style could reflect how I'm starting to feel. Very chill, laid back, and worry free for the most part.

5) I have also decided on my New Years resolution. By the end of the year all I hope to get out of it is that I was happy with how everything was. I'm hoping I wont regret anything that helped to get me to that point. :)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Right now I am happiest about my awesome roomates. :) They seem to get better the longer I stay here. They are so drama free. I love our late night girl talks and our chill music times. A great way to end the day if you ask me. :) <3 Love you guys!

As for my family i really need to get in a better habit of talking to them. I feel like I'm ignoring them but, i swear it's not like that ;). Miss you all :) Hopefully I'll be able to see some of you sometime soon.


Happy Days,
Kayla <3

Finally home :)

Finally made it home from baker city :) it was great to see all my family but I'm happy to be back in my new portland home :) I've missed my roomies larissa and leann. Life just isn't the same without them :) <3